Dr. No and the Revenge Party

Dear Editor,

Once upon a time, a tiny county in a rundown state held an election for County Commissioner, where all three seats were up for grabs. However, since local election rules hearkened back to a time when those who wanted to lead the Democrat Party consisted of somewhat reasonable individuals, who weren’t hellbent on upsetting any and all useful apple carts they could find, the people were stuck with a Democrat, like it or not (excepting the City of Warren, of course, they seemed to like it). So that left two chances to get it right – small “r.”

Two individuals running under the Republican banner were elected. One was an individual who had published a claim of having been Chief of Staff to the then-and-current State Representative. In a most unusual intraparty rebuttal, that Representative then published a majority-page statement refuting that claim. One would think it would have spoken volumes to voters that one’s former employer would take that extreme step. Now, look, “politics ain’t beanbag” and resume padding isn’t unheard of, but logic dictates one would prefer not to have a proven liar representing their interests. But, surprise! This individual emerged as the leading vote-getter! Well.

As was the custom, the chairmanship devolved onto this individual. Shortly, however, in yet another shocker, this time interparty, the other two commissioners, unhappy with the chairman’s leadership, or lack thereof, removed that chairmanship and shuffled it to one of the others. Yes, believe it or not, a team consisting of a Republican and a Democrat actually cooperated and resolved a problem (and continued to.) Well, this opened the floodgates – Misogynism! Conspiracy! My Daughter’s Wedding! (Hey, it worked for Hillary – almost.) Since then, it seemed to be a point of pride for this commissioner to oppose the other two, for which the moniker, Dr. No, was earned. This commissioner also exhibited a strange, vendetta-like grudge against one of the most beneficial local business promotion organizations in the community, which must do its job in the background, citing “Sunshine Law” concerns. This interparty team also removed a county employee, one assumes for skullduggery afoot, since it’s a “personnel issue.” Coincidentally, this employee is now running for commissioner, also. Hence, the Revenge Party was created.

So, now the tiny county in a rundown state gets a do-over on May 21. Does the county return the Republican chairman, who, if one must vote their gender, has a female running mate? Or does it swallow the Revenge Party’s bait and return to the thrilling days of yesteryear and incompetent governance? Stay tuned. And remember, “Nothing will change until more women get into elected office” — Hillary, Nancy, Diane, Alexandria, Ilhan, Maxine, Kirsten, Feauxcahauntus, Kamala, Mazie, Rashida, Sheila.

Ralph Keniston,