This story came across my email and it tickled my funny bone. It related back to my old airline days, still an ongoing source of fun and curiosity for me. Enjoy the quick read — my comments follow.

“An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic.

It flies consistently at 800km/hour at 30,000 feet when suddenly a jet fighter appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now, have a look here!” He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, “Well, how was that?” The Airbus pilot answers: “Very impressive, but now, you look!” The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same steady speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, “Well, how was that? Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?” The Airbus pilot laughs and says, “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the plane to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry. This is called S.O.S. – Slower, Older & Smarter” When you are young, speed and adrenaline are the greatest. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

Fun story. Thank you, Captain Bob. But it got me thinking – which always gets me in trouble. As soon as I begin wondering, I have to google the fact checkers. What caught my attention in this story was the 800km/hour cruising speed of the Airbus. That translates to 497 mph.

W-H-A-A-T? 497? Back in my old flying days, I worked on Boeings – 707s, 727s, and 747s. On our cross-country trips, or JFK to Hawaii, they typically flew at 600-630 mph!

I’d always been a speed demon, and I was seriously impressed by the cruising speed of our Pratt & Whitney engines. Some days, adding a strong west to east tailwind, we could cover the

country between L.A. and New York in less than 4 1/4 hours. I don’t know if it’s today’s engines, the voluminous amount of air traffic, or fuel economy that are slowing things down.

I did love those Boeings. At American Airlines Stewardess College, we studied aircraft familiarization. I learned about cruising altitudes, cabin pressure, ailerons, speed brakes, even the pitot tube which stuck out in front of the tail for air intake. Oh. Excuse me, it’s not the tail. We were taught in training that it contains the rudder and its real name is the “vertical stabilizer.” My reaction as a newbie was happiness about anything called a stabilizer.

I was a sponge for all the correct names and purposes, so much so that I fantasized about becoming a pilot. I quickly realized that it was not for me – too much responsibility. I consistently forget things. Losing a flight plan between operations and the departure gate was frowned upon. Fuggeddaboudit.

A little history:

My very first flight was on a TWA Constellation, not a jet, that took me to Kansas City for a job interview with them. When TWA issued me the round-trip pass from Boston to K.C., I thought I had gone to heaven. A free flight? To someplace I’d never been? And it did result in an employment offer. But American also offered the job and I was smitten… with the uniform, the glamour, and the opportunity to see everything beyond my New England small town.

Looking back, I think there was a subconscious force at work.

In 1946, my mother was notified that her younger brother’s body was being returned from WW II for burial in San Diego. The exorbitant airline ticket price forced her to borrow from the bank. The luxurious flight (they all were back then) took over 15 hours with many stops. I think it was a DC-6.

When Mom returned home, she gave me a hand-sized oval sticker that read “American Airlines Mercury Flight” in red, white and blue. Sticking it on the upper corner of my bedroom mirror, I saw it every day for 13 years. I had dreams of being a passenger, but work for an airline? That world was too fantastical. I’m a slow study sometimes.

But it came to pass, that after college my dim light bulb finally turned on – to a world of travel, friendship, and excitement that has never left. I married a Navy pilot and spawned a marine pilot. And still today, every article, book, and film about my old world makes me soar. I take anything with wings happily…even though I’m slower, older, and a little bit smarter.