This morning I took out the coffee maker that makes one cup at a time. That turned out to be a tear jerker. It made reality that much more real.

When we married, I knew because of his age Don would probably pass before I would although since I had had breast cancer, anything was possible. Secretly I hoped that he would go first so he would not have to experience that loneliness that he felt when he lost his first wife.

Now, I must once again pick up the pieces. It is especially hard this time because we spent so much time together during COVID. We did everything together. We ate breakfast. He did his puzzles (which I sometimes helped with). We watched television. We visited. We sat on the couch together.

Our first year was exciting. We ventured to Alaska as our honeymoon. That was new for both of us. Neither of us had a honeymoon before. It was wonderful to get acquainted with the grandchildren up there. It was good to see Melanie and her family in their home.

Although we did not stay with them, we saw them every day. She took us to see things we never would have seen on our own.

We stayed in a friend’s home where we had an apartment of our own. Each night we went back just before dark because the road there was not so good. Thank goodness we rented a truck! I read and he played games on the computer. We visited, sometimes with the owners of the house. They were both retired teachers so we had a lot to discuss.

This October we went to Pittsburgh where he was presented with his sixty-five-year Ironworkers’ pin. He looked forward to that. It was postponed because of COVID. He was so good then. It was almost as if the Lord let him enjoy that moment, then began to call him home.

I would not trade one single day of the time we had together. We maintained our independent lifestyles – him golfing and me volunteering the ladies. We often met for lunch when my volunteering was finished. We bowled together. I told him before we married that I did not golf, but I would bowl.

We had an easy relationship – money was not an issue – we each had Social Security and pensions. We divided our expenses.

Last year he nearly forgot Valentine’s Day. By the time he went looking for something, all of the hearts filled with candy were gone. He bought me a mug filled with candy and a lottery ticket. The lottery ticket came with a $50 prize. I would say that I lucked out!

This year we celebrated Valentine’s Day with a celebration of love like no other. That was the day that we chose for the funeral. What better way to celebrate the love family and friends had for Don? It will forever be a special day for me.

His grandson did an awesome job remembering his grandfather fondly. A cousin contributed his recollections as well adding a touch of humor. When Diedra died, the family followed her wishes and did nothing. Don always felt bad about that saying that she just disappeared. We knew he wanted a funeral.

It was our decision to add military honors. He served his country in Korea during the war there and was very proud of his service. I held it together until they presented me with the folded flag – that brought tears.

People commented on how happy he looked in the picture with the obituary. They scanned a photo from our wedding day so he was happy. My daughter made over a wreath that I had to include my wedding flowers that we put in the casket.

Now I am on to life on my own once again. I lived that lifestyle for seventeen years so I am positive I can do it again. I will miss him terribly, but that is just how life is. Strange as it may seem, the day I am putting this together marks 20 years from the death of my first husband. Both of them died in February.

I told my children that I was going to lose Don at Christmas time. Somehow, I just knew. December and January were gifts.

We had that time together for me to adjust. His daughter had a wonderful visit with her dad just before Christmas.

I have been reading my diaries. Even before we married Don was a big part of my life. His name appears frequently. As I read, I can picture the day.

Life was good. God is good. I will lean on Him for strength. He brought Don and I together. We had a wonderful three years. Of course, we wished it could be longer, but it was not to be. Rest in peace, Don, I love you.

Ann Swanson writes from her home in Russell, Pa. Contact at hickoryheights1@verizon.net.