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And you will just know

Kate Cataldo

Let’s talk about dating for a minute.

Yep, I’m going there.

In a culture where dating seems to consist of swiping left and right and random hook-ups, have we lost its true meaning? I mean, with all the different relationship scenarios these days, how does anyone go into a first date completely comfortable and confident?

We are human, after all, and we all know what happens when we get out of our comfort zone; fear.

As a woman, I tend to act more reserved than I actually am when out on a first date. Why? Well, because I am freaking out on the inside. I consider myself an introverted extrovert, which means that you can most likely find me out in social situations, but you’ll probably find me in the corner avoiding all conversation. I like to do my own thing, but having someone there with me would be ideal.

Unfortunately, I find most of the basic first-date talk to be rather shallow and boring, but I always just go along with it and then hate myself later for not being “me.”

I want to know so many other things rather than your favorite color. I want to know things like where your dream travel destination is, your biggest fears, biggest regrets, and so on… How about aliens, do you believe in them? And, will you be okay with my zombie obsession?

These are the questions I should be asking and never do.

What dating really comes down to is time. Most adults have busy lives, and dating just adds another thing to do on the list. Dating is just plain exhausting, and rejection after rejection can be overwhelming. You’ll start thinking, “is something wrong with me.”

But, news-flash, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

With each date you go on, you have the ability to learn about yourself, your wants and needs. You’ll learn the kind of people you are compatible with and aren’t. It’s a tedious trial-and-error process we all kind of forgot about.

Since moving to Warren, I have been on a few dates and have learned a lot. For instance, knowing exactly what I want and what I am looking for in a partner.

When you are looking for someone to kick-it with in life, you have to be really, really clear what you want. This took me a little while to figure out.

And to be honest, not everyone agrees with my opinions on life, love and relationships, and that’s okay. I learned a long time ago that I do not walk this earth to please anyone, but myself.

Your wants and needs are the most important things when it comes to dating — Never give up those things.

A lot of times, I also feel I can be misunderstood. Sometimes people just don’t understand me or see who I actually am, and to me those are huge red flags.

If you don’t feel like someone actually “sees” you, run… Run as far and as fast as you can. If someone is going to judge you based on a first date, it speaks more about their character than your own.

So, when dating’s got you down, just remember that.

When you are ready to date, it is important to know who you are.

And when you are ready, you just know.

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