One day as I made my morning commute I heard the people on the radio discussing that it was Common Courtesy Day. I never knew there was such a day. Off and on they mentioned some common courtesies. I mentally began a list of my own. Come to think of it, I am not sure that everyone has learned the same common courtesies.

There are the obvious ones of please and thank you. When my children were young I told them there were some magic words. I also taught them the proper time to use them. Even my school students knew what I meant when I mentioned the magic words. Would you believe that many children today do not use these words, in fact, many adults do not either? I was taught that please and thank you were words that showed manners. You had good manners if you used them.

Come to think of it I do not believe young people these days were taught to send thank you notes for gifts either. There have been a number of occasions that I have sent gifts to graduates and brides and grooms and they were never acknowledged. That is another common courtesy that comes to mind. It is what was done in my day.

When I meet someone I smile and say hello. Sometimes when appropriate we shake hands. I always appreciate someone who has a firm handshake and looks me in the eye.

If you are entering a building it is polite to hold the door for the person following you. At least be sure it does not hit them in the face. Men used to hold the door for women, but I think that disappeared when women wanted equality. There are still some very polite men out there today. I often have one hold the door for me.

It used to be when a gentleman came to call that he left his car and walked to the house. Now I see some young folks who toot the horn and wait. When my children were dating I was anxious to meet the people that they were dating. I very much appreciated the young man coming to the door when he was picking up our daughter.

There are also common courtesies that should be observed at home. If you finish the end of a beverage, put some more in the refrigerator to cool. If you finish the end of a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, get a new roll. If you make a mess in the kitchen, clean it up.

Phone courtesy is taught by most businesses. A courteous person answers the phone as promptly as possible. They identify themselves and the name of the business. They also ask “How may I help you?” If you do not have the information the caller needs, put them on hold, but only for a short amount of time. You can always take their number and call back.

With children it is best to tell them what you want them to do instead of just telling them “no”. All people respond to good manners. A little bit of sugar works wonders. Remember the song “A Spoonful of Sugar”.

My son gave me the book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum when I was teaching kindergarten. Manners are one thing that is learned in kindergarten that is for sure. The condensed version of what Fulghum wrote about is included on the book jacket. He says these are the things he learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life learn some and think some and draw and paint, and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. Be aware of wonder.

The Bible tells us to do unto others as you would have them do to you. In a broad sense I think Robert Fulghum incorporates many of the commandments as well.

Fulghum does not mention littering. I think that is a rather modern concept. The more wrappers there are the more trash that gets thrown out of car windows. I also taught my children about littering. They were appalled when they saw someone carelessly toss a paper on the ground and often commented about it.

Another courtesy that I think of is the art of listening. When someone wants to talk, be ready to listen. I mean really listen. If it is important enough to say it is important. Just getting something off one’s chest at times is beneficial.

I think also of what I call super market etiquette. If someone with a fussing child is waiting in line behind you, let them go ahead. If someone has just a few things invite them to check out ahead of you. There is absolutely no one who is so important that they cannot take the time for common courtesy. If anyone feels he or she is above the level of common courtesy, they have a rather inflated view of themselves.

We have a lot of Swedish people around here. Just look through the telephone book and you will find pages of Johnsons, Petersons and Andersons. The Swedes are sociable people. I do not think that I have ever stopped at a Swedish person’s home without being offered a cup of coffee. If someone stops to visit be sure to put the coffee pot on as the Swedes do! Around here it is a common courtesy.

Ann Swanson writes from her home in Russell, PA. Contact at hickoryheights1@verizon.net.