It is the early 1970s. I am watching television in the living room with my older brother and sister. I am wrapped up comfortably in my sleeping bag, the one covered in a variety of jungle felines, which is pretty nifty to a four year old. As I sit there on the couch, my siblings throw their legs on top of me. I politely push them off my lap. They do it again, and I do it again, a little less politely. We repeat this awhile. The funny thing about all this is that they are playing a game with their little brother; of which their little brother is completely unaware. Frustrated at my inability to get them to do what I want through brute force, I change tactics. I recall hearing some magic words on occasion that seem to get some action out of people Now if I could just remember what those words were

“Get your (blankety blank) legs off of my tiger sleeping bag!”

It works. They remove their legs. I am delighted to discover that the magic words also have the unexpected side effect of making my brother and sister laugh. They continue to laugh and I begin to laugh along with them. Magic words are fun.

My mother comes in the living room. She is not laughing, however. The spell is broken on my brother and sister and they get very quiet. My mom kneels down, looks me square in the eyes, and says very sternly, “We do not say words like that in our house.”

I respond to my mother with a mixture of innocence and bewilderment of which only very young children are capable: “But daddy does all the time.”

My sister and brother are laughing again, laughing so hard that they start to cry and gasp for air. One of them snorts. My mom is not joining in. She is not normally the stern type, but I know that she means business: she’s putting me to bed early-and it’s Petticoat Junction night!

My brother and sister have never let me live this one down. Maybe that is a good thing. As a daddy these days myself, it makes me think twice about what I say around my kids. Does my conversation build people up or tear people down? Do I more freely express my frustrations or feelings? Is my talk acquainting them with the seven deadly sins or the seven cardinal virtues? My kids are taking it all in whether I realize it or not-and you would be amazed the things that can slip out when a tiger sleeping bag is involved!

Ian Eastman, M.A., promotes the well-being of families at Family Services of Warren County, a charitable agency that provides counseling, substance abuse services, and support groups. “Like” Family Services on Facebook and invite your friends and family to do the same.

This column originally ran in the June 5, 2009 edition of the Times Observer.