My eyes are drooping as I type these words. But it's my own fault.
Last night at 2 a.m. I awoke to a loud beeping sound. That got me up fast! A thorough investigation around the house revealed that its source wasn't my obvious guess-the smoke detector-but our electric range stove. My daughter made cupcakes earlier in the evening and must have done something with the timer. A scan of the stovetop revealed that there were only four buttons associated with the timer: hour, minute, timer and clock. So how hard could this be?
I pressed the timer button. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
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Ian Eastman
I pressed the clock button. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I held down the timer button. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I held down the clock button. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I set the timer to 0:00. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
Getting desperate, I pressed every combination of the buttons imaginable. Something along the lines of a million times. BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
It was now 3 a.m. I decided a change in strategy was in order. I went to the computer and looked up the Frigidaire website. (Am I the only person who thinks it is an oxymoron to have a stove manufactured by Frigidaire?) I discovered some great news: downloadable manuals were available. I also discovered some not-so-great news: I had to enter the model number into a search box to access the manual.
BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I ventured back into the kitchen to get the model number off my stove. There wasn't one on the front of the model. So I mustered my strength and pushed the beast away from the wall. Then I wiped away the cobwebs and grease to get a better look. After a comprehensive search, I discover that there isn't a model number on the back of the stove, either.
BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I head back to my computer and enter some random numbers in the search box. I do find some ranges, but they are newer models with completely different timing mechanisms. By now it's 4 am.
BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I consider calling my wife, who away on business in Pittsburgh, but decide against it.
BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
I go back and repeat step one (pressing buttons at random) for awhile.
BEEP - BEEP - BEEP...
At 4:30 a.m. I wake up my daughter. Still three-quarters asleep, she shuffles into the kitchen and immediately shuts off the timer. She does it so quickly that I don't even see what she did.
Blessed silence.
Self-sufficiency is good thing. But asking for a little help can work wonders sometimes!
Ian Eastman, M.A. is a community educator at Family Services of Warren County-a charitable agency that provides counseling, substance abuse services, and support groups.

