By Jennifer Mozzi
Do you have any homework tonight? That question could be loaded, especially if your son or daughter struggles with school work. Homework can be a chore at the end of the day that no one wants to face. The kids who have labored through their day don’t want to face it, nor do the parents who are counting the hours until bedtime. As a teacher, I’ve tried to use homework as one type of communication between home and school, to give just enough so that the family was aware of what exactly we were working on in school. And that also gave them a chance to communicate back to me on the level of difficulty their child experienced. For the majority of children, given a kitchen table, an occasional piece of advice, or a quick look on the school’s homework web site, they will accomplish their homework. However, for the child with learning disabilities, homework might require a whole lot more.
Doing homework with kids who struggle through school or have a learning disability in one area or another doesn’t have a cut and dry, familiar recipe. For the child, the moment homework is mentioned could evoke the day’s frustration. It could bring back that cutting remark that someone made during school. Maybe it evokes all those insecurities that he or she will not live up to your expectations. And that’s just the child’s side of things! The parent also brings baggage to the homework table. Perhaps they struggled in school and can’t effectively help their children. Maybe they bring the all-powerful guilt, wondering what they did wrong to make the child struggle so badly? Above all they might bring fear. Fear that their child isn’t going to cut it. Fear that he might fail, and what will that lead to? Will he continue to fail? Ultimately, will he or she be successful in life? When this child who struggles and the parent who struggles to cope try to complete homework together, there could be teardrops on the paper before it even gets finished. When all of these doubts creep in, it is important to keep the big picture in focus.
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Out of all the lessons I’ve learned in my teaching career, the one that continues to prove itself is that grades are secondary to a whole host of more important attributes. If kids possess certain powerful attributes and have confidence in themselves, they can conquer the difficulties, when they come, with more confidence and success. People like Einstein, President Kennedy, and even Tom Cruise are famous inspirations who have overcome their learning disabilities to find success. But for every famous story posted on a classroom wall or study choral, there are thousands of everyday people who have learning disabilities and have found success. These people have some attributes in common; they persevere, they set goals, they are proactive, they have self-awareness, they seek support and use it, and they have their emotions in check.
Successful people persevere. They don’t avoid the hard stuff, but instead learn to work with determination. Obstacles cause people to reassess what or how they are doing things. These obstacles should not be avoided, but met head on. Elementary school is the perfect place for children with learning disabilities to begin to figure out what works and what doesn’t. At times our kids are going to face failures, but those experiences will only teach them to change the way they go about achieving success the next time. That is part of the learning that needs to take place for some kids.
Self awareness is the backbone of success. Children with learning disabilities need to become aware of their strengths and weaknesses. What works for them personally, compared to what may work for their classmates, needs to be sorted out and accepted. Ultimately the disability needs to be compartmentalized. Children who understand that their disability is only one part of them, are able to see their talents and capitalize on them Small successes breed confidence, which is essential to learning, growing and succeeding.
Setting goals along the way is helpful, even at young ages. When realistic and attainable goals are set, more success is likely to be found! Visual charts are a very useful tool to show exact results of the progress made. A little encouragement and nudging along the way never hurt either; the support of family or teachers is imperative to a child’s success. Those who take the initiative to seek out help are along the path to success already. It is important to be proactive in learning, to take charge of their own progress and ultimately the outcome of their lives. Research says that kids who are proactive in school often step into leadership roles at work. This goes back to not letting the disability define who they are, instead students need to understand that they control their own destiny.
Finally, all people with or without disabilities experience stress in their lives. However, children who are struggling with self awareness, trying to figure out how to not let their parents and teachers down with the grades they may earn, finding support from the right people, trying to escape ridicule from their peers, may find that the stress is too great. It is common for these children to fight depression and anxiety, and they may need professional counseling from time to time. No child ever wished on the shooting star for these kinds of difficulties in life. As Rick LaVoie once said, “No mother ever rubbed her growing belly and wished for a child with disabilities,” and at times the stresses that come along with the daily tasks such as homework and report cards are too great. That is when it is ever so important to remember the bigger picture. The one that says attributes like self awareness, perseverance, etc. are more important than the grade on the last test. Successful people learn from their mistakes and seek out the help of others. So the next time your child asks for help on his homework, remember the attributes of success that you can instill for life are more important than the grade on the paper.
Jennifer Mozzi is a mother of three children, Paul, Bryn and Tessa. She has been a Special Education Teacher at the elementary, middle and high school level since graduating from Clarion University in 1994. In her spare time she loves to go for a run, snowboard or swim with her family.