THE FANTASY ORACLE: Read my lips: ‘L.J. to Texans’ — maybe next week
By ROB STEWARTArticle Photos
Fact Box
Standings (divsion champs and next best three records make playoffs)
Eastern Division
1. Viking Quest (Jon Sitler) 7-2 (1,021.54 points)
2. St. Louis Shockers (Joe Mangione) 7-2 (920.40)
4. Lee Roths (Ian Szymczyk) 5-4 (909.40)
10. Sagebrush Apocolypse (Derek Farr) 3-6 (876.20)
14. Chaotic Ramones ( Cody Elms) 3-6 (790.08)
Central Division
5. Hooktown Heros (Paul Mangione) 5-4 (846.92)
6. The Human Bein's (Ian Ofslager) 5-4 (813.10)
7. Fwee Dom Wing (Allen Seybert) 4-5 (817.74)
8. The G33k's (Frank Galeazzo) 4-5 (817.74)
9. No Use for a Name (Jon Myler) 4-5 (773.76)
Western Division
3. Pickelhauben (Dave Hishman) 7-2 (899.14)
11. The Oracles (Rob Stewart) 3-6 (873.10)
12. White Crackers (Dean Wells) 3-6 (841.92)
13. Mr. Randy Watson (Matt Buser) 3-6 (804.72)
Last week's results: The Human Bein's 102.52, The Oracles 93.08; Lee Roths 127.04, Fwee Dom Wing 69.44; Viking Quest 138.48, Hooktown Heros 84.28; Pickelhaubem 126.36, The G33k's 102.20; St. Louis Shockers 99.5, White Crackers 57.32; No Use for a Name 89.28, Sagebrush Apocalypse 84.66; Chaotic Ramones 99.70, Mr. Randy Watson 69.16.
Last week I questioned the release of Chris Chambers by the San Diego Chargers and sure enough in his first game as a Kansas City Chief, he caught two touchdowns. He clearly hasn't replaced Dwayne Bowe as the main receiving threat, but he gives Matt Cassel another solid option.
The Chiefs parted ways with troubled running back Larry Johnson this week in what was an expected move by yours truly. Johnson will sign with a new team by Monday and I predict it will be the Houston Texans.
As for the "Handkerchiefs," I still believe by the end of the year Kolby Smith will be the principal ball carrier in this running back by committee featuring Smith, Jamaal Charles and Dantrell Savage.
In the land of the Brownies, Derek Anderson was benched once again in favor of Brady "I play more like Martha" Quinn. With the lack of talent on this roster, I think I agree with Jamal Lewis that retiring is the best option. It appears Randy Lerner, Cleveland's owner, has learned a thing or two from Al Davis on how to destroy a proud franchise. If the Browns played Our Lady of the Sacred Heart would the game end in a scoreless tie? Just wondering.
Two players you should keep an eye on down the stretch that may be available in most formats are Ladell Betts and Darren McFadden. Betts takes over the running back gig in Washington for Clinton Portis, who is suffering from post concussion symptoms and McFadden returns for the Raiders after a lengthy absence and gets to play the Handkerchiefs, a team he ripped apart on his way to 164 yards last year.
Did you happen to catch Chad Ochocinco jokingly trying to bribe an official with a one dollar bill on that near sideline reception? The guy is hilarious but the "No Fun League" didn't think it was so funny as they fined him $20,000 for his antics.
In other No Fun League news, Brent Celek's was also fined after he caught a touchdown pass and was appearing to celebrate his touchdown catch right in front of the cameras in the infamous Captain Morgan pose. The move was banned this week after NFL executives reviewed film of Celek's pose as it was referred to as an "ambush marketing campaign" by NFL spokesman Greg Aiello.
The bye weeks end this week with the NY Giants and Houston Texans taking the week off and then it is a full slate of games from here on out.
In the WTO Laid Back league, the feature game pits No Use for a Name versus Central division leader Hooktown Hero's. If the Hero's lose, this division is going to be wide open with three weeks to go. It appears more and more evident that the league will have a sub .500 team make the playoffs. The other game everyone will be watching is the battle of 7-2 teams between Viking Quest and Pickelhauben.
BYE WEEKS: Houston and the NY Giants.
STEELER RUNNING BACK UPDATE: Rashard Mendenhall ran with power and speed last week gaining 155 yards in just 17 carries as the Steelers pounded the Broncos. This week Mendenhall and the Steelers face the Bengals for AFC North supremacy. Look for about 90 yards and a TD from the Oracle favorite.
CUTLER CORNER: Last night Jay Cutler threw 5 interceptions including one in the end zone on the final play sealing Chicago's 10-6 loss to the San Francisco 49ers. Many teams will have an uphill battle this week trying to recover from his near zero point performance. There's always next week when you are a Chicago fan.
FREE AGENTS TO TARGET: Ladell Betts, Darren McFadden, Rock Cartwright, Sammy Morris and Mike Wallace
INJURIES: Anthony Gonzalez (2 more weeks), Adam Vinatieri, Sammy Morris, Fred Taylor, Jerious Norwood, Clinton Portis, Justin Gage, Chris Cooley, Lance Moore, Jermichael Finley, Chris Henry (IR)all appear out. DeAngelo Williams, Terrell Owens, Antonio Bryant and Donald Brown all appear to be game-time decisions.
PLATERS RETURNING FROM INJURY: Brian Westbrook, Darren McFadden, Anquan Boldin, Trent Edwards, and Muhsin Muhammad.
ULTIMATE LINEUP: Tom Brady, Chris Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Reggie Wayne, Marques Colston, Dallas Clark, Stephen Gostkowski and the Vikings defense. Flex play will be Larry Fitzgerald.
FANTASY BUST OF THE WEEK (5-4): Maurice Jones-Drew. The Jets are going to put together a game plan that stops him this week. Don't expect monster numbers this time around.
