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When we last left the strange and highly toxic denizens of Soothsayer Central, Juan and Gomez were washing and waxing Papa Sooth's 1957 Death's Head Ford Fairlane in the garage of Planet Sooth's secret headquarters, located beneath the missile test range in Kiwanis Park.

"What's that sound?" Juan, SSC's intern and Knower of all Things Related to Certs, asked, peering deeper into the garage.

Gomez, Captain of Planet Sooth's Imperial Guard, scratched his head with his pirate hook hand. "It sounds like . . . a hunk of metal caught in a blender."

"Or a bus dropping its transmission."

"It's neither, you two brickheads!" came a roar from the shadows. Papa Sooth strode into the light, walking a little quicker than his normal hobble of a 1,000-year-old man.

"Is it a surprise?" Juan asked, wide-eyed and smiling. "I love a surprise."

"You bet your glass eye it's a surprise, bucco." Papa pushed past him, looking over his shoulder.

"The sound is getting closer!" Gomez said. "What is it?"

Papa wasn't sticking around to explain. He talked as he headed for the door. He explained he purchased some dinosaur DNA from a company in South America and had the lab down at Warren General Hospital inject it into a sparrow egg.

"I wanted a new pet," he cried. "It was a little bigger than I anticipated."

A horrifying shriek filled the air.

Juan wet his imitation leather Road Warrior Wez pants. His knees were knocking as he shouted, "What is it, Papa! What is it?"

"A pterodactyl. Feed it until I get back."

And he was gone.

Juan grabbed Gomez by the shoulder. "Uh, what do you feed a pterodactyl."

Gomez nodded at the Fairlane. "Let's give it the car . . ."

Behold! The 2008 NFL Season, Week 6.

*Burp*

Oakland (1-3) at New Orleans (2-3), 1 p.m. - One slip up and Al Davis will not hesitate to hand interim coach Tom Cable a medieval-style beating. And make no bones about it - Al Davis knows his medieval-style beating. He was there when they were invented. BOTTOM LINE: New Orleans by 6 (New Orleans).

Miami (2-2) at Houston (0-4), 1 p.m. - Miami has defenses in a tizzy over using the Wildcat direct snap. Big props to Tony Sparano. He hasn't given anyone a "deer in the headlights" look like that since he and Sal Bonpensiero clipped Matthew Bevilaqua in the concessionaire stand. BOTTOM LINE: Houston by 2 (Houston).

Detroit (0-4) at Minnesota (2-3), 1 p.m. - What's it like to be a Lions' fan? Probably a lot like being a Pirates fan, only with more hope. BOTTOM LINE: Minnesota by 12 (Minnesota).

Chicago (3-2) at Atlanta (3-2) - Kyle Orton is due for an implosion. BOTTOM LINE: Atlanta by 3 (Chicago).

St. Louis (0-4) at Washington (4-1), 1 p.m. - If these Rams were facing the 2007 Patriots, this would be the first appearance - ever - of a 19,000 point spread. BOTTOM LINE: Washington by 12 (Washington).

Cincinnati at (0-5) at N.Y. Jets (2-3), 1 p.m. - Palmer is out. Avert your eyes. BOTTOM LINE: N.Y. Jets by 6 (Cincinnati).

Baltimore (2-2) at Indianapolis (2-2), 1 p.m. - Joe Flacco, your unibrow is a thing of true magnificence. Hats off to you, mensch! BOTTOM LINE: Indianapolis by 3 (Indianapolis).

Carolina (4-1) at Tampa Bay (3-2), 1 p.m. - Where are the cheerleaders? BOTTOM LINE: Tampa Bay by 1 (Tampa Bay).

Jacksonville (2-3) at Denver (4-1), 4:05 p.m. - Prediction: The Jags get in a shootout with the Broncos and Jack Del Rio's head explodes like that French guy in "Raiders of the Lost Ark." BOTTOM LINE: Denver by 3 (Denver).

Green Bay (2-3) at Seattle (1-3), 4:15 p.m. - The Seahawks are down to two guys off the practice squad and a high school kid nicknamed "Gromit" as their receiving corps. BOTTOM LINE: Seattle by 1 (Seattle).

Dallas (4-1) at Arizona (3-2), 4:15 p.m. - Don't blame the Redskins for the Cowboys' turmoil. This is all Jessica Simpson. Seriously. BOTTOM LINE: Dallas by 5 (Dallas).

Philadephia (2-3) at San Francisco (2-3), 4:15 p.m. - Donovan McNabb is teed off and the Niners couldn't stop Matt Cassel from going long last week. This has u-g-l-y written all over it. BOTTOM LINE: Philadelphia by 6 (Philadelphia).

New England (3-1) at San Diego (2-3), 8:15 p.m. - Norv Turner favored by six over Belichick. What's the world coming to?

BOTTOM LINE: San Diego by 6 (New England).

N.Y. Giants (4-0) at Cleveland (1-3) (Mon.), 8:30 p.m. - The Giants haven't lost a game in 10 months. Are you fracking kidding?!? BOTTOM LINE: N.Y. Giants by 6 (Giants).

Last Week. SSC 7-7, 6-8 against spread. Hostovich: 9-5. Season: SSC 45-29, Hostovich 41-33. SSC 37-37 against spread.