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The Trickle - Jan. 26

January 26, 2009 - Brian Ferry
What do you need THAT for?

There I was, minding someone else's business (it was Circulation Director Bob Patchen's business, if you must know), when I saw them leaning against a wall. Bright red handles, flat black cutters. A work of potentially destructive art. Bolt cutters. Big ones. Why does Bob need 24-inch bolt cutters in his office? Of that, I'm not so sure. Did I ask? Yes. Was I satisfied with the answer? No. Could I borrow them? No.

Murphy's driveway

Sometimes, people are understanding before they understand. I had cause to appreciate that recently. The other day, I took my son to a birthday party. My wife was going in with him. She's on crutches. It's slippery out. There were no good parking places right in front of the door. I only needed a minute, so I pulled into a driveway adjacent to the building and quickly jumped out of the car to help her. A car pulled up as I was closing the door. I saw the driver roll the window down. Thinking he might need information (about the party), I stopped and said 'Hello.' He said, quite pleasantly, “Mind (getting (he said a nicer word, I don't remember it right now)) out of my driveway?” I was embarrassed that I had been caught in someone's driveway, annoyed at the exceedingly slim chance of the timing, and glad that he wasn't hollering. I explained the situation and he was even more understanding. Still, I was blushing as I got everyone out of the vehicle and the vehicle out of the driveway in short order. Thanks for understanding.

Seasonal Obstacles

About this time of year, obstacles start showing up in parking lots and on streets. Those big, dirty chunks of ice that fall off of cars annoy me. I run over the little ones and the ones I think are squishy. I seem to not estimate the location of my passenger side wheels very well - I miss a lot. On the other hand, every once in a while I hit a fully frozen one that's a little too big for my car to handle. When I tell stories about these things, I call them 'those big chunks of brown snow that fall off from behind the back wheels of cars' or something about as awkward. The term 'road apple' is already taken. What's a good word for these things?


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