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The Trickle - Dec. 9

December 9, 2008 - Brian Ferry

Sometimes programs that check spelling and give suggestions about possible alternatives can be pretty good. Sometimes, not so much. I decided to give mine a little test. Over a period of about a week, I watched for interesting alternatives. The names and words that had some interesting possibilities were: Bortz, psychotropic, Clarendon, MacQueen, McGuinness, and Stillwater. The following are some sentences I created out of the test. “Commissioner Bronze, speaking from Colander Borough building, said the county is paying too much for pyrotechnic drugs.” “Muscling, who is a resident of Swordtail Road in Sugar Grove Township, said he enjoyed the exercise, which Macaque helped present.”

Editor's note: I may make this a regular portion of the Trickle. Any suggestions for a title?

Mt. Dew

For some reason, the recycling container in the Times Observer employee foyer is almost full of Code Red. (The corporate sponsorships have to be coming in soon. Pepsi – you know where to find me. I can even move this to the top of the blog for the right price.)


When it comes to introductions, it's all relative. (No, we're not all relatives.) A TO reporter was covering a recent event when a life-long acquaintance decided to be polite and introduce her to some of the visiting dignitaries. “This young lady works for the Times Observer,” the gentleman said. The county officials looked at her and said, in unison, “Hi, Lydia.”

Everybody Loves Fudge

There was some very yummy fudge left in the newsroom for the newsroom people (thanks, Di) and everybody just loved it. That reminds me (that and seeing the things today) of the day a co-worker tossed an elf-shaped cookie at me. I said, 'Thank you.' I then proceeded to bite the thing. Duh. What am I going to do, carefully inspect it to see if it was really a cookie? It was pretty stale, so I took a more serious bite. It was then that I noticed it was not made of food. This cookie doppleganger (cookieganger?) was actually made of very rugged plastic. Looked like a cookie to me. I've been told there are teeth marks in the thing to this day. I responded the only way I could think of – I threw it at her. (Thanks, Soojye. Yeah. Thanks a lot. I'll forward you my dental bill.)

Papa Ferry

I've been working on my technique. Being an evil mastermind doesn't come naturally, but I think I'll be able to fit in. However I'll need a signature insult. Doorknob is taken. Bonehead is my traditional choice, but I feel the need for something stronger. How about 'pustule' for a short, familiar form, and 'suppurating putrefaction' for the formal? Yes. I think I'll fit in nicely.


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