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The Trickle

September 12, 2008 - Brian Ferry
Multi-use vehicle. Bumper stickers can tell you a lot about the owner of a vehicle. In the Warren County courthouse parking lot Tuesday was the Warren County Cooperative DUI Enforcement Program trailer. Is the sticker intended to educate would-be drunk drivers as to the possible results of their actions? “Be an organ and tissue donor.”

Fill ’er up. In the county’s planning office there is a drawer that every office seems to need. It’s labeled “solid waste.” Is that a reference to garbage? ... how full of important documents the drawer is? ... or something else?

Messy situation. Speaking of waste... during a municipal discussion of sewage treatment... “Things get complicated when you’re talking about poop.” (Thanks, Lydia.)

Makes sense. A school district official was having trouble with his computer during a recent board meeting. He couldn’t get the next item to come up on the screen. “I guess I should have hit the ‘next item’ button.”

Financial responsibility. There is a WCSD board member known for holding up a piece of paper with a dollar sign on it when a committee discusses something without figuring in the cost. He got some ribbing from fellow board members at a recent meeting. “If we give too many to (him), we’re not going to get anything done,” one member said. Another said the answer would be, “We don’t have any money to do that,” if projects were sent his way. Some projects are worth finding funding, but having someone on the board watchdogging the tax rate doesn’t sound bad to me.

Backwards money. After a grant award for a Warren County municipality’s park project was quadrupled by the commissioners, the mayor attended a meeting and asked when they’d be getting that money. The answer? “You have to spend it first, then you get it.” At least that’s better than the way the federal government does it.

Big invisible hands. At a recent meeting of the township secretaries, a PennDOT official wondering about scheduling some training sessions wanted to know how many of the secretaries were not in attendance. “How many municipalities aren’t here today? Raise your hand.” Which is more complicated: finding the hand of a municipality or raising an absent hand?

Neither cruel nor unusual. When the county veterans affairs director informed the county commissioners that he would be meeting with a senator’s veterans team to discuss penalties for stealing from, damaging, defacing and otherwise messing with the graves of veterans, one of the commissioners had a suggestion. “Make it a summary hanging offense.” It wasn’t a new idea to the director. “That will be one of the suggestions.”

A little attribution: Thanks to Judy Etzel for the inspiration for this blog/column. Oh, and Judy, if you get any Sprays from up this way, feel free to send them my way.


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