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December 21, 2012 - Brian Collins
Well, it's several hours after the world was supposed to end and I'm still sitting here typing.

There are multiple items which I have been putting off in the hopes that maybe the armageddon would finally rear its head and spit a few fireballs in our direction, but it is decidedly not so.

For the sake of your (and my) amusement, I will share some of the things that I probably should have done.

1.) Paying my student loans.

I've probably gotten more than my fair share of deferments and forebearances, but what the heck, right? I was banking on the world ending like all other college students who are quickly realizing that those loans don't pay themselves off.

2.) My laundry.

It looks like the stockroom of a clothing store following Black Friday in my bedroom. I've got clothes everywhere and I can't help but admit that I figured they would stand a better chance of surviving a fireball if they were covered by a heavy layer of still-damp towels that I haven't picked up yet.

3.) Returning my movies to the video store.

I think I have a few overdue movies. Redbox and Netflix are probably sending representatives my way. Let's leave it at that.

4.) Practicing for the Tango.

I'm supposed to swim something like two miles? In the reservoir? In August? I don't know, I got looped into it by some co-workers because I used to be a swimmer. I haven't swam in two years. I was really banking on the world ending so I wouldn't have to do the much for that.

5.) Feeding my pet tiger.

No, I don't really have a pet tiger, but if I did I wouldn't have fed him/her all week in preparation for crazed looters coming to my house. Can you imagine the look on their face when a starving tiger met them at the window?!


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