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The Trickle - My evil twin
August 25, 2011 - Brian Ferry
I don't have a twin. However, for the purposes of this particular blog, I'm going to adopt an evil one. He's going to ask alot* of questions. My adopted evil twin will ask these questions of someone... someone who claims to be a twin... hmmm... perhaps Eric Tichy. Turning the keyboard over -now-
How old are you? How old is your twin? What's the age difference between you and your twin? Who is older? (I'll bet it's not you.) Were you born on the same day? If you weren't, do you celebrate your birthdays on different days? If you were born on different days, do you track your age in days? Does only the older twin do that? Are you REALLY a twin? Do you look the same? Have you ever removed a mirror and acted like you were each others' reflections? Have you ever gone to mime school to improve your twin powers? What are some ways we could tell you apart? Can you have an adopted twin? Would such a situation require that the people in question be born on the same day? If so, isn't that a little unfair, since other twins can be born on different days? Any other twins in your family? Are you the good twin or the evil twin? (Need I even ask?) Is it necessary in every twin relationship that one twin is the evil one? Do identical twins switch their good/evil roles just to mess with people? Do the two of you have the same likes and dislikes? For instance, does baseball bore your twin? Do you have the same abilities? For example, does your twin get pulled for a courtesy runner? If you wear your twin's clothes, are they called hand-me-sideways? Is it weird to wear your twin's clothes? If you're reading a blog and get annoyed, does your twin just 'know'? What's the range on that kind of thing? What's the farthest apart you and your twin have ever been? What is one major issue on which you differ from your twin socio-politico-philosophically? If one of you is Superman, does that make the other jealous? If one of you thinks he is Superman, does that annoy the other? If you both think you're Superman, do you fight about it? If you both think you're Superman, are you surprised when you get hurt because you tried to do something normal, non-twin people wouldn't do? Or do you just assume there's a lot of Kryptonite around? Are there any other twins in your family? (Yes, I realize you are a twin, and your twin is a twin. Anyone else?) Do you have any other twins? Or is it just the one? Do you and your twin have the same name? Wouldn't it be easier if you had the same name? Who was named first? Was your mother aware that she was going to have twins? Did she have two names picked out? If you mumble, does your twin know what you were trying to say? Can you communicate with your twin without speaking/signing? (Or singing for that matter, although I didn't make that particular typo in this case?) Are there times when you know what your twin is thinking? What's the range on that kind of thing? What's he thinking now? Do you disagree? Does your ESP work on anyone else? What am I thinking now? Does that only work with other twins? What's Mary Kate thinking right now? Can you argue with your twin without speaking/signing/singing? What's the range on that kind of thing? Do you tend to agree or disagree with things your twin thinks? Do you put up a good front and act like you agree with what your twin says even when you don't? Do you read the same ridiculous blogs? Does your twin waste time like you do? Do you wake up in a mysterious panic sometimes and wonder if your twin had a bad dream? What's the range on that kind of thing? Are you REALLY a twin? Do you think you're Superman? So this job is just a cover? Does your twin think he's Superman? Does your twin end sentences with prepositions?
* For the record, I hate "alot" too. It's right there with "alright" in my book. Also, there is at least one example of twins in my family. I have never asked this annoying list of questions to them as they have never compared me to a character who, from the anecdotal information I can come up with in a newsroom, is not a good character to whom to be likened. My apologies to Eric's twin.
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