Unknown times

Dear Editor:

In now unknown times, there was a tribe, the Waheebi. They had many leaders, good and bad. Once they had a leader that hated the tribe’s ways. It was after an era of bad feeling that they elected Bullock O’llama. In the first place, translated from Waheebi, Bullock O’llama means; fuzzy cow hiney that puts holes in canoe, destroys healthcare, hates industriousness, promotes racial tension and uses tiny pink dumbbells. But the restless Waheebians ignored all of the signs and promises of destruction in hope of change.

You must first know; the Waheebi did everything by canoe and they even used them to get their water. Many did not like that and thought they should simply settle with the water nearest them instead of working hard. The Waheebi faced in two directions to travel; some sat looking toward and some away. Those that were not looking to the leader and were focused on themselves were the Demobacks. The Waheebi that stared at the leader for direction and call on the canoes were the Rebuttlekins.

The Rebuttlekins could never unite on ideas, because some looked to progress and some looked to preserve and some simply faced their direction but were really a Demoback in disguise. A group of Rebuttlekins began yelling, “he’s putting holes in our canoes!” They were laughed at. Even when ‘Fuzzy Cow Hiney’ admitted he was going to put holes in the canoes, it was ignored.

As time would have it, ‘Fuzzy Cow Hiney’ began handing out drills and told his followers, “you can get water easily if you simply put holes in the canoe.” And “don’t cry if you have to scoop up a little water, that’s not who we are.” Some Rebuttlekins kept yelling, warning that the Waheebi were taking in too much water and they would soon all die! But it wasn’t to be heeded. O’llama just blamed Rebuttlekins for not balancing the amount of holes in their floaty chattel thingys, “They won’t work with us! Those on higher floor should have to give more room.”

It wasn’t long before the Waheebi were forced to drink terrible water. Nobody is even sure the Waheebi made it through his term. They became infected with scoffing and backstabbing. There is legend what followed was a terrible fascistic dictator named, Duba Tuba Trumpa. In Waheebi, that translates: “Oh my, what the hell is on that guy’s head?”

Randy Knisley