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Camp Forget Me Not will return to Warren for second installment

Camp Forget Me Not is gearing up.

The one-day grief camp is being offered Wednesday, August 2 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church, 200 Market Street, in Warren. The camp seeks to fill a niche, making a space available for youth who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

Last year’s camp, said Hospice of Warren County (HOWC) Grief Counselor Toni Williams, was “a very rewarding, very fulfilling day.” Having worked with children on issues like grief for many years, Williams said that the best thing about the day’s activities was watching a child come in shy and reserved but leaving feeling validated and stronger.

She and Ellen Scalise, also a HOWC Grief Counselor, agree that children grieve differently than adults. And often, said Scalise, that grief goes unrecognized but apparent in things such as behavioral changes, and sometime somatic symptoms.

A child grieves intermittently, said Scalise. So parents may be noticing on and off behavior changes but be chalking them up to just that, behavior. So parents wind up working on fixing the symptom, but not the actual problem.

There are times, Scalise added, when HOWC grief counselors get referrals for children through their pediatricians. Stomach troubles, trouble sleeping, and other physical signs of unacknowledged grief can hide the underlying emotional cause, Scalise said.

Last year was the first year for the HOWC grief camp, which nine youth ages 7 to 17 attended, said Scalise.

“When you can take a tear and turn it into a smile, that warms your heart, said Williams. She said that during last year’s camp, one of the best outcomes was seeing a child who was unwilling to share his grief with the others in his group come around when he learned that one of his peers had encountered a situation very similar to his own.

And that, said Williams, is the point. A day of grief camp helps children and young adults see that others are struggling with the same or similar feelings, and it validates their own feelings.

Children are often overlooked in the grieving process, said Vonnie Radecki, Bereavement Coordinator for HOWC, and Scalise agrees. So many times, according to Scalise, she sees children either struggling to name the complex emotions that come with grief, or declining to reach out to parents and other adults for help because children don’t want to upset their parents. Meanwhile, said Scalise, parents aren’t checking in with their children on the grief process, either because they are struggling themselves or because they don’t know what to say or fear that bringing up the death may rekindle some emotions that a parent has assumed have died down.

“We’re trying to reach them where they are,” said Williams, “and then provide guidance and a listening ear. They do the work. They work through the grief on their own. But they can’t do it without support and compassionate, unbiased support. Williams and Scalise don’t just provide grief counseling during Camp Forget Me Not.

Hospice of Warren County offers free grief counseling services to anyone in the county affected by the loss of a loved one. But, said Williams, what she would like to see is every parent calling to request a screening when a death of a loved one has occurred.

“Don’t try to guess on your own” whether your child needs grief counseling, said Williams. “Be willing to phone for help, and be open to accepting it. But don’t be afraid to request a screening and find out it’s not needed.”

That’s the best case scenario, said Williams. She said she’d like to see anyone with a child who’s experienced a death call for a screening. “If they don’t need help, we’ll let you know that.” But if they do and don’t get it, said Williams, the effects can be long-lasting and significant.

Scalise said that the hope is for Camp Forget Me Not attendance to grow every year. “Even if you know someone, a friend or a neighbor who has a child who might benefit, let them know about it.”

Scalise and Williams both reiterated that there is no cost for the camp, or for grief counseling through Hospice of Warren County. There is also no cost for lunch at the camp, and because all grief counseling services at HOWC are Free, there’s no need for insurance or copays. The loved one who is the subject of grief doesn’t even need to have been receiving hospice services for the bereaved to get grief counseling at Hospice of Warren County.

The bottom line, said Williams, is that children often “don’t know how to say ‘I’m grieving,’ and they are afraid to upset an adult by trying to broach the subject.

Anyone looking for more information on grief counseling or Camp Forget Me Not can call Hospice of Warren County at (814) 723-2455. Anyone interested in attending the camp must be registered by July 19. Registration packets are available to be mailed or picked up at Hospice of Warren County, 1 Main Avenue, Warren.

The camp is open to youth ages 7 to 17, and will be a day long event. Although the camp is being held at Warren’s First United Methodist Church, there is no religious component to the program. Lunch will be provided and parents will be responsible for secure pick up and drop off.

A day full of activities that help children identify and work through grief, leaving camp celebrating the lives of their deceased loved one, is planned. Grief Counselors will be available throughout the event, and the day will end with a dove release.

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